Woot! How amazing is that?

Good morning, would you like a side of failure with your pancakes?

As human beings, we look, always, for progress, progress, progress. Some way to make things better, some indication that things will be easier, that we know more. Even in our personal lives, we want to see that life is better, easier than before.

But throughout history, all we see is loop after loop of the same kinds of human patterns, the same general actions, the same mistakes, the same attempts at fixing them, the same failures and successes, and again, we repeat ourselves.

Unfortunately, it happens so much in our lives individually, as well.

How many times have I forgotten to bring my contacts case with me on trips I have the potential to fall asleep during? Every time, I swear, I'll never have to wake up to dry contacts again. And yet, I still only remember it occasionally.

How many times do we misplace keys, wash chapstick, tie impossible knots in our shoes?

How many times do we make the same social mistakes, alienating acquaintances, making enemies of friends, botching attempts at asking for more than friendship, ruining situations that were previously fantastic, with no chance of reconciliation?

Are we doomed to continue these awful habits, fated to walk the same paths over and over? It's insanity!

And beyond that, how many times do things beyond our own control follow the same patterns? It's a scary thing to contemplate, that maybe our lives continue in an uncontrollable circle, that we will face the same situations again and again, and that we will make the same choices again and again, make the same success or the same mistake, always haunted by the one series of events, marred only by different people, different settings, perhaps different details, but still a general idea that has happened before.

Are we, as weak mortals, capable of making a different decision? are we capable of finding success where we've failed before? It has happened before! It is not impossible!

So will I, in the face of a situation I have faced more than once before, make the same mistakes, and yet again lose something I cherish and hold so very dear? I can only pray and hope to know how to do what I have never done before, and to succeed where I already seem to be failing again.

Those of you who do so, I could use your prayer.

Peace and tranquility... (October 6)

I couldn't be happier that it's fall. Every summer I find myself missing the rain, and I never realize just how much I've missed it until we get a good, solid downpour that I can sit back and appreciate. Said downpour always gives me a feeling of being washed out and refreshed, mind and spirit. It offers to me a calm from the storm of pressing circumstances, monetary issues and whatever else may haunt me, making me weary and irritable. And then my mind is left open to wander, with music, words and image.

Yes, thus the blogging!

So I've been letting my mind wader, and I just want to share a few of those wanderings, because I feel there are a few things we forget in the rush of day-to-day life. I would really love to see this one turn into a progressive blog, so please, make this a group effort, and add your observations and memories to the blog after you've read... as many as you want. As many as you feel appropriate.

I know a few of you hike, but I know all of you have shared some kind of experience like this... and if you haven't, I highly suggest you go for a walk and don't be afraid to open your eyes and take your time. There's nothing quite like coming to the top of a hill, a ridge, or even happening upon some clearing that is unexpected, and suddenly being taken aback by the pure and sudden beauty. Beauty is everywhere in this world, but to happen upon it suddenly, to see a stretch of space within which Mother Nature has carefully tended each and every plant, rock, hill and mountain as if just to take your breath away. There's one view in particular that, every time I go this way on a clear day, makes me want to pull over and just soak in the view. Driving east on Smith Road, there's a certain very tall hill, and for some reason, I cannot think of the nearest crossroad at the moment. This hill has a definite crest, at the top of which, on a clear day, gives the most spectacular, indescribable view of Mount Baker. If you haven't seen it, go, don't just take my work on it.

I've always found it fascinating that a sunflower actually follows the path of the sun throughout the day. I got to thinking about that, much like I do overanalize when I'm in these types of moods, and I wondered, don't we, as humans, do that as well? Not with the sun, obviously, since we are not a blind race (well, some of you are lucky not to be blind, the rest of us have to make do with lenses of some kind), but we do follow something, sometimes to the extent that we, too, turn our face to follow it physically. If we are sunflowers, in a sense, what is each individual's sun? I know mine...

Alas, but I have worked on this too long, the rain has let up, and I'm starting to feel the press of the world again. Should you so be inspired, please, add to it, like I said, I wish this one to be a bit of a living post.

As always, thank you for your precious time.

(Monday, October 6)

[might as well take advantage of this time and lethargy, but need to accomplish something by reposting small bits from elsewhere!]

Read if you dare, the musings of an ill and dehydrated mind.

That's right, I've been sick for a good day and a half now. Woo! Pretty good start for the first content post, no?

Anyway, there are a few things I've noticed lately that either really are terrible or are really spectacular. Wow. I really hope I never write like this again, it's terrible... but I'm really bored, so here 'goes!

Spectacular: German teachers who cancel class the day of the first test... ironically enough, the day sick officially hits me and I spend my two hour break sleeping instead of finishing that German homework...

Terrible: stupid ladies on eBay who sell you a calculator then pretend they didn't, sell it to someone else, then apologize three weeks later and send a refund. But still without a calculator. Damn you, Robbie, for needing my calculator more than I do...

Damn you math-oriented mind for being able to handle most of the math average kids use a calculator for single... brain cell-edly??

Spectacular: Chocolate milk!!

Terrible: Want food. No food easily accessable enough to satisfy my dizzy-headed needs. Make pizza. Return to room. Promptly forget both pizza and hunger itself. Phone call. We have pudding. I want pudding. I'm hungry. PIZZA! CRAP! Pizza charcoal. Hungry. No food easily accessable. Not trying to cook anything again. Damn. Chocolate milk?

Spectacular: Someone decided to be really smart while she could still walk straight and attach her computer speakers to her bed, and has had a wonderful sound system the entire time she's been....

...Oops, sorry, fell asleep for a minute there... where was I?

Terrible: mysterious heavy clonking footsteps on the roof over my room. Ringing headache.

Wonderful sound system probably isn't helping that one much... heh...

Spectacular: Leave room to make pizza. WOOD STOVE IN LIVING ROOM wtf? Where's that come from? Neato...

Explains the mysterious clomping across the roof...

Hilarious: how much more frequently I swear when I'm sick... maybe that's only funny because I'm sick.... but quite frankly, I find it hilarious. Thus, Hilarious. Yes. Moving on.

Terrible: Pulled out five movies yesterday afternoon. Watched two. Of the remaining, one wasn't in the box, and two are deciding not to work. Curse you, oh small movie collection. Which seems a little weird; before we moved, I could have sworn we had better DVD's... ooooh Robbie's been raiding them, hasn't she...? ohhhhh....

Sudden, Very Strange Realization: I don't want to read...???!! Um... watch out, the end of the world may be fast approaching.

Terrible: No amount of water seems to be solving this stupid problem with being sick and dehydrated and all that. Maybe it's just sick, with symptoms very very closely resembling that of dehydration...?

.

I haven't put Norah Jones on this thing yet. Weird. Which means I don't know where that cd is. Crap.

Okay, kids, I'm bored out of my mind, craving entertainment, craving company, and craving that oh-so-terrible-but-so-addictively-good mac'n'cheese they serve at Haggen's... I know I know, it's really the only thing from the deli that I'll eat anymore, after working there, which is weird in itself. Or is it? Um. Yes, it is. 

Oh yeah, the point! CALL ME PLEEEEASE! landline, if at all possible? Dad's house... Cell phone is just weird and more painful than normal phone.

yeah.

please?

I will beg... if I have to... maybe...

Messenger works too...

Intro time!

Good evening, morning, afternoon, and general greetings to all who have made your way here! If you were looking for it and happened to find it, I offer you my sincere congratulations; somehow I managed to work with technology enough to post it and to make it available to others, and it was a link that could be followed, even though it's more likely that you had to search (quite) a bit for it, thus the congrats. We all know how great a relationship I manage to sustain with these ridiculous machines we call computers!

I used to do my blogging rather sporadically on myspace (woot, I'm such a nerd!), and I enjoyed doing so. A few friends left the site for facebook, and one related that "the thing I miss most are your blogs". Well, here you go, hon, no more myspace blogging, because it decided to be a little too difficult to use last time I attempted it!

So yes, after all of this rambling, future ramblings have a permanent home now, as will a select few from what I've done in the past. Maybe I'll keep this one up regularly...

Doubt it, but one can always try, no?

As always, thanks for your time, all!