Resurrection: Insults

So I decided to bring another oldie back to the surface, and running through them all, it was hard to choose which one, then I read through this, and I realized that it's one that I should really read periodically. It's a great reminder, at least for me, that I need to control the way I view things, that I shouldn't allow myself to view situations through my cloud of human pessimism.

Insults

(September 17, 2007)

are exhausting.

I was stupid enough last night to really think about all of the insults I've been given by various people over the course of time and where those insults came from, and, quite frankly, it's quite depressing. Why do I do these things? I'm human.

I've realized that many of these things that I come up with, I walked right into. Some of them have been earned, some have not, many are a sampling of the insults I myself have used, and some are more than likely imagined.

I've also realized that, for the most part, they've become less and less: those that are close to me have developed a greater patience for my strange ways, and those that have not developed a greater tolerance and understanding, I've either separated myself from, or I'm kind of stuck with.

Excepting a precious few, each person that I recall these insults coming from has paid me many times the compliments and kind words [And I cannot recall one single person who has insulted me personally (excluding random people applying a label to me, thanks, stranger, ugh) who has not given me any kind of comment at some point or another]. It's a hard thing to be willing to recognize with all of these negative bits and pieces staring me in the face, but it is there.

Weak, uncaring, unworthy, stupid, fake, dishonest, not trustworthy, unreliable, overly dependent, shallow, and in the way...

But how many more times has it been strong, loving, brilliant, humble, honest, trusted, responsible, independent, deep, amazing, lovely and helpful?

I am going to make a greater effort to not insult those around me, and to think about how I might hurt or help someone with what I say before I say it, and I'm going to make a greater effort to avoid the true negativity, and register more of the positive things said and done.

As corny as that sounds. Whatever. Sometimes the corn is necessary in order to reach these conclusions.

Lean on me

When you're not strong

I'll be your friend

I'll help you carry on

For it won't be long

Till I'm gonna need

Somebody to lean on.

Added November, 2008

I do read over this every now and then, but not often in total seriousness, along with the comments friends left for me. Being in a new environment, I've not met a lot of people more than in passing, and I haven't really been paid very many insults, and sometimes I forget how difficult it once was. I don't know if I've been paying out a lot of insults myself, because I'm not as sorely aware of them, coming or going out, as I used to be. I dearly hope not.

My sister is in junior high this year, and looking back, that is when the nasty comments reached an unbearable peak, that I really took them to heart, and didn't know what to do about them. I was helpless.

Thankfully, she is much MUCH stronger than I was until late high school. I do worry, though, because I know how tough it is for one who isn't the top-ranking, 4.0, super popular girl in class. 

The idea of bullying is to single out one person, make him or her feel completely alone, then attacking the helpless person. Subtle insults can do that so much more than outright, violent actions. It's why girls are so much meaner than boys; we are really good at making snide remarks, and, to a point, this catty behavior is socially accepted in the female population.

Do what you can to support those around you, they may be hurting more than you think. You may make someone's day just by choosing a compliment as opposed to an insult.