Each of us, in our journey of life, has wronged another. Likely, more than one, and more than once. When it comes to sins against God, it is a well known process of identifying the wrong, regretting it, asking forgiveness, learning from the situation and moving on, knowing that the wrong has been forgiven and is forgotten. In our day-to-day, small skrew-ups, a simple apology generally suffices.
But what do we do to compensate for the big ones? The ones that stack, one on another, creating a growing, gross heap?
Being humans, we seem to believe that some kind of reparation or revenge is due for these. Why? It's a good question.
And then there are even the wrongs we've served without being aware of them. This not only provides the wrong, but the insult of not realizing that it was at all offending.
I have served my share of wrongs, and have received my share, as well. I can't honestly claim that I have apologized for all of them, or even deserved forgiveness, but I can't remember one instance of knowing I'd wronged someone and not felt remorseful and not said that I'm sorry- truly and completely sorry- for the wrong I'd done.
I've always forgiven freely, holding very few grudges. Sometimes, some would say, too freely. My trust and forgiveness has led me to trouble more than once, has bitten me in the butt, but I can't imagine not forgiving anyone who is remorseful for his or her deed against me, or pretends remorse well or even doesn't realize that s/he has done wrong against me. I can't imagine where I'd be if, the first time someone hurt me, I refused to trust that person again. I'd be very, very alone, I know that.
Why do we refuse each other forgiveness? a new start? another try?
Or am I in the wrong; should I work more to protect myself against those who have wronged me? Have I bared my heart too much, been too vulnerable?
I don't know. Maybe someday I'll have the answers.
Until then, I'll continue to guess. Continue to give the flawed human population the benefit of the doubt and hope that I'll receive it in turn.
If I have wronged you,
I am sorry.
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